Whilst at secondary school in Switzerland, he often invented illnesses to avoid the less desirable elements of secondary school. His proudest of these inventions was in order to avoid german homework, whereby he suddenly developed very sharp pains in his lower abdomen, which grew worse and worse as the homework deadline loomed. He was eventually taken to the school nurse, who recognised it as appendicitis. An ambulance was called, and he was rushed to hospital, where he was quickly rushed into surgery, and his appendix pulled out by a nonplussed surgeon, who'd never seen such a healthy appendix cause trouble before. Being aged only about 14 at this point, he asked the surgeon if he could keep the appendix as a souvenir. The surgeon obliged and gave him his very healthy appendix floating in a jar of alcohol. The alcohol, eventually evaporating, left his appendix somewhat shrunken, and, as he describes it, soon "resembled a piece of bacon rind". He recalls "it probably wasn't worth it, as I was expelled a few months later anyway".
Prior to this expulsion, whilst still at the school, he took a dislike to the fish served on Fridays. In an act of devious rebellion, he began to scratch uncontrollably throughout Friday evening and Saturday morning, until a doctor finally worked out that it followed a pattern, and was probably the fish that was causing his "allergy". From that point on, he was given baked potato and poached egg on Fridays instead, and never had to tolerate the fish again.
His mother, Olive, was an animal lover, and was especially fond of Golden Retrievers. She had owned a few of them, and eventually ended up adopting one which never barked, to her annoyance. She was keen for it to bark when the postman came - which it never did. She took it upon herself to train this dog, and decided the best way to teach it was by setting an example. Needless to say, the postman was a little suprised to knock on the door and be greeted by an equally perplexed dog and a woman on all fours, woofing and the top of her voice.
Where ideas come to die
